Information and resources for parents and carers
Many parents and carers have questions about children’s sexual behaviour and development. These resources can help you understand what to expect at different ages, talk with your child about safety, and know what to do if you’re worried.
What behaviours can be expected for my child’s age, and what is concerning?
You might be here because you’re worried about something your child has said or done. Or you might want to better understand sexual development and help your child learn about their body, boundaries and relationships. Whatever brings you here, you’ll find information and resources to help you understand what you’re noticing and decide what to do next.
If a child's sexual behaviour has affected you or someone else, you'll also find information about support and next steps.
These resources may also be helpful for extended family members, kin and other important adults who support children and young people.
Sexual behaviours are one part of growing up
Children and teens are naturally curious about bodies, relationships and sex – it is a healthy part of their overall development. It does not mean that all children will display sexual behaviour. When they do, most behaviours are developmentally expected and are part of their learning about bodies, boundaries, and relationships.
What you might notice will change as your child grows. Sexual behaviour can include, for example,
talking or asking questions about bodies or sex
using sexual words, gestures, or making sexual jokes
touching or exploring their own body
curiosity about other people’s bodies
curiosity about pornography.
A child’s age and developmental stage, and what is happening around the behaviour, can help us understand it. The guides below provide information on expected sexual development and behaviour at different ages.
When should I be concerned?
Sometimes you might notice a sexual behaviour that is not expected for a child’s age or their developmental stage. It may also be concerning you because of how often it happens, how young the child is, or because it could cause harm to the child or someone else.
Some of these behaviours may be described as ‘problematic and harmful sexual behaviours’ (PHSB). Knowing what you’re seeing can help you work out how to respond - visit our Recognise section for more information.
Want to know more about problematic and harmful sexual behaviour?
Start here.
Resources
Find resources to support your child’s sexual safety and healthy development, understand what behaviours to expect at different ages, and know what to do if you’re worried.
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Common questions
A child touching or exploring their own body is often an expected part of growing and developing. Learn more about sexual development and behaviour, including what to expect as your child grows, and when you might need to step in.
Yes, curiosity about bodies can be an expected part of growing and developing – it's one of the ways children learn. Learn more about sexual development and behaviour, including what to expect as your child grows and when you might need to step in.
Understanding sexual development and behaviour provides information about sexual development and how to tell the difference between developmentally expected behaviours and those that may need attention.
If you’re worried about your child’s sexual behaviour, it can be hard to know what to do next. Resources to help parents and carers are available in supporting safety after PHSB in the section on resources to share with parents and carers. Remember you don’t have to do it alone - here's where you can get help.
Getting help early can help stop the behaviour and support children and teens to continue to develop in healthy ways. Support might come from you, a school or other professionals specialised in this area. Help is available.
Depending on the child’s age and severity of the behaviour, additional services may need to become involved to support the child to stop the behaviour and take responsibility for it. This may include child protection or youth justice. Learn more about the law and where to get advice and support in the FAQ section of Understanding problematic and harmful sexual behaviours.
Watching or being exposed to pornography is becoming increasingly common among children and teens. Find resources to help you understand pornography use, talk with your child about what they’ve seen, unpack the messages pornography sends about sex, consent, bodies and relationships, and know when to be concerned: Pornography exposure, use and influence.
If your child tells you they have been harmed, let them know they did the right thing by telling you. Listen to them, take what they say seriously and reassure them that you believe them. Draw on support to help you care for your child - see available services in your area.
If a child’s behaviour has affected you directly, you may be unsure how to respond or where to turn to for help. This can be especially difficult when it is your child and you are worried about them, other children in the family, or about how others will respond.
You don’t have to manage this alone. Support is available. Although it may be difficult to talk about, seeking help for yourself can be an important part of supporting your child and family. You can find information about available services on the Get help page.
It can be especially difficult to know what to do when harmful sexual behaviour happens within a family. Everyone involved may have different needs for safety, care and support – this includes the child who has been harmed, the child who has caused harm, siblings, parents or carers and other kin.
Getting professional support can help you prioritise safety, and understand and respond to each person’s needs. You can find information about available services on the Get help page.
Not necessarily. While some children who display problematic or harmful sexual behaviour have experienced trauma or abuse, including sexual abuse, this is not the case for every child. There can be a range of factors that contribute to these behaviours. Learn more about understanding problematic and harmful sexual behaviours, including a dedicated FAQ question on this topic.
Many parents and carers told us that when they found out about their child’s behaviour, they felt shocked, distressed, lost, confused and isolated. If your child’s experience or behaviour brings up strong feelings for you, or reminds you of things that have happened in your own life, seeking out information and support - like you’re doing now - can help. Take care of yourself and reach out to someone you trust or a support service if you need to.
Getting support for yourself can help you be there for your child. You can find information about available services on the Get help page.